Journaling is something that I do daily and I believe can massively transform lives. Because I love to journal so much, I decided to create a special calendar of journal prompts for the month of November (woop woop!). Download the calendar below and be sure to share with your buddies! Also, I will be posting each day on my instagram about the prompt of the day.....so come give a follow there and read more about they "why" behind each prompt.
P.S. Be sure to tag me on social media when you post about your journaling! Tag @simplymeganv and I will comment and support you :D
Birthdays are tough for me. There... I said it. On the outside I may seem A-OK on my birthday but inside that is usually not the case...and I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who experiences the birthday blues.
In years past, I could predict the onslaught of anxiety and depression as my birthday drew near. No matter what I did, I always was just riddled with the blues on my special day.
I think that's the thing about anxiety and depression...it tends to pop up on important days.
The ironic part is that I absolutely LOVE celebrating birthdays for other people. It is seriously so fun for me to go out of my way to celebrate and make my loved ones feel extra special. When it comes to myself however...not so much.
Does that ever happen for you too? And it's not just with birthdays either! Do you ever struggle to give yourself the celebration, approval and attention you can easily give to others?
Being me...aka someone who is always working to be better and grow...I spent some time this week reflecting on this pattern of negativity because my birthday is drawing near (October 6th woot woot!). What I found was super interesting and, since I'm not the only one with this issue, I thought I would share my findings.
First, I dug in and thought about the reasons why I felt down on my birthday. What was my inner critic telling me? What thoughts tended to go through my head like rapid fire on a repeating tape?
After thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized something.... I tended to get down in the dumps and reject any sort of positivity on my birthday because I felt that I didn't deserve anything good. I felt that I didn't deserve to be celebrated....
Apparently, at some point I had decided that I'm only worthy of being celebrated if I meet criteria set forth by my inner critic....definitely a no win situation.
For example, last year I felt totally down in the dumps and sabotaged any sort of true celebration (super annoying to my amazing husband and family who wanted to celebrate me). When I think back on it, I realized that I believed that I wasn't worth celebrating because I wasn't making the money I "should be" making in my business. SO RIDICULOUS!
And if I go back further and further I can see birthdays where I didn't feel worthy of being celebrated because I was single or because I believed I was too fat. Again...SO RIDICULOUS!
The funny thing is...I always planned fun things and parties with friends for my birthday every year. From bar crawls to club nights to weekends away...I went big with my planning each year.
My vibe was screaming "Notice me! Tell me I'm important! Help me feel special!" while at the same time I felt unworthy and as far from special as you can get.
Now on the outside you may not have noticed this at all....often times I would appear as a super happy and confident birthday girl. However, on the inside I was sinking in anxiety and feelings of unworthiness.
It makes total sense to me now why my pattern has been to get depressed around my birthday....and now, this year, it's time to permanently change things.
As my birthday draws closer, I can see the thoughts already starting and my inner critic ramping up the harsh, judgmental, dialogue.
"Better lower your expectations because you are going to be disappointed"
"No one wants to celebrate you"
"I hope you aren't planning to take any pictures because you are totally flabby"
"Another year has passed and once again you are a disappointment"
"Don't even think about treating yourself to anything! You don't deserve any presents because you are no where near your monetary goals"
And those are just a sampling of what my inner critic has been saying...
I'd bet big money that these statements aren't anything new. However, the big difference is that I NOTICE THEM.
I know I'm going to have a wonderful, happy, non-depression or anxiety filled, birthday this year. Because now that I notice the pattern, I can do the work to reverse it and block the negativity.
So this year, my theme is gratitude and radical self-acceptance. I am going to celebrate the heck out of myself because I know I am worth celebrating. Not to mention, I plan on really deeply receiving and allowing others to spoil me a bit (not an easy thing for me!).
For the first time in a looonnnggg time, I am actually looking forward to my birthday and I think this is a wonderful start to the last year of my 20s.
Now if you will excuse me....I have some birthday shopping to do. Happy Birthday to me!!!
P.S. Want to join me in the celebration? Do something to celebrate yourself and how amazing you are then tag me on social media (@simplymeganv) when you post the evidence! It's time to stop only celebrating others and to start giving yourself the approval and celebration you are 100% worthy of receiving. Join me and let's celebrate because we are worthy of being celebrated!
Ok so I know this post may seem counter productive because I am a life coach and I make income from people hiring me....HOWEVER, my main purpose here on this planet is to serve and help others. I am under no illusions that private coaching is an option for everyone so I wanted to create a post to help those who want transformation without the high price tag.
Now, I want to point out a detail here...notice how I have refrained from using the phrase "can't afford it." I am doing that intentionally because
1. That phrase is really disempowering
2. You can afford it...seriously...if you had a life or death choice you would find the money...it's just not a priority at the moment for you and that is A-OK!
Ok now that I've gotten that out of the way...back to today's post.
I see private coaching as being like hiring a personal trainer. If you want targeted, specific, individual, quicker results...then you hire the personal trainer. However, if you are willing to put in extra time, if you are ok with trial and error, if you are willing to be disciplined, then you are ok going at it by yourself.
I'll be 100% honest with you. I believe deep in my bones that one on one coaching with me is powerful, life changing, and will get results. But here's the deal...I also get that paying $150 per session isn't something that can be made a priority for some people right now...even with a payment plan. Not to mention the fact that I only have so many private coaching spots available...I am just one person afterall!
So I sat down and thought about it...what are some things people can do to get some results if they are choosing not to hire a coach at the moment...and this is what I've come up with. Keep in mind that going this route requires a lot of personal discipline and isn't the best option for everyone. Only you know yourself...if you tend to sabotage your efforts or you have been trying to do this for years and still haven't gotten results...then it's time to suck it up buttercup and get the one-on-one coaching you deserve.
Now reading is one of my favorite past times and there are some phenomenal books out there that can really help you make some great strides in your life. Here is a list of some of my favorites to get you started. Make sure you actually DO the exercises suggested in the books as well!
- The Upper Limit Problem by Gay Hendricks
- Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield Thomas
- Life Loves You by Louise Hay & Robert Holden
- Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
- You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero
Journaling is such a phenomenal way to start tuning out the noise of the outside world and start hearing your inner GPS. I recommend hitting up Pinterest for some great journal prompt ideas or you can simply start by writing out a gratitude list for each day. I also highly recommend getting very clear about your dreams and goals..write that ish down already! If you want to free write your thoughts and feelings, that is also a great option too. Make journaling a daily practice for you and look up journal prompts. I know there are some awesome free resources on the interweb...heck you can even download two workbooks of them if you opt in to my email list!
3. Daily Practice of Surrender
One of the biggest issues I see with others is their need to force an outcome or result. I've found that having my clients practice daily surrender allows them to release the stress and anxiety that comes with focusing too much on the "hows and whens." Remember, there is a divine energy that is working to bring the best outcome for you and for all. It's not your job to figure out the how and when...it's your job to have faith and take action as the next steps are presented to you. Practice a daily intention of releasing your need for control and surrender the outcome knowing that whatever happens it will be of your highest good.
You know there can't be a personal development advice list without meditation. Taking time to reflect, breathe and listen is a fast track to discovering insight and information. I love to tell my clients that you have the answers you need inside of you and meditation will allow you to hear them. Make it a priority to spend time in meditation daily if you really want to see shifts and results in your life. There are many options for meditation available (and no you don't have to pay for them.). Try searching Youtube for some guided meditations or just put some nature sounds on your spotify, close your eyes and breathe.
5. Get Real About Fear
Fear is something that holds everyone back. Getting in the habit of identifying your fears and limiting beliefs is super important for getting results. Practice writing out your fears and limiting beliefs you have around your desires. When you can identify what you are afraid of and the beliefs holding you back, you can then take action to counteract them. Once you know your fears, it's time to challenge them. Feel the fear and do it anyway! Take one small (or large) action a day to disprove and counter your fear.
With limiting beliefs, identifying them is the first step. Then you need to start identifying proof of how the belief is untrue. I also find it super helpful to make a list of all the ways that limiting belief has held you back and what your life will look like if you do not get rid of that belief. Lastly, try writing out at least a page of the new belief you want to focus on in your journal daily and set reminders in your phone to pause, tune into and repeat that new belief several times a day.
There you have it...that's 5 ways to start getting results without having to hire a coach. Like I said before, I believe that doing one-on-one coaching is the best, most ideal route, however I know that it isn't a priority for everyone. My hope is that you will make a commitment to yourself and do these practices. Honor your commitment to yourself daily and I promise you will start to see shifts in your life for the better!